I'd have to agree w/ you and Ellie that S.'s behavior was 'odd' (I'm being kind here). I can completely understand why you were anxious about it. I'm not sure why you felt you did poorly - were you able to maintain a fairly calm discussion, pointing out the various points, or did the conversation itself get sticky with emotionality?
I disagree slightly with Ellie, in that I think you have (understandably) Trust issues, and there are S.'s Trustworthiness issues here as well. All hard to work on, I'm afraid...
I wish I had more in the way of advice at the moment. One thing, however, that I think may be worth noting is that it often takes men longer to digest the emotional content of a discussion (remember the book, What Could He Be Thinking?). So even though he firmly stated he wasn't going to feel bad about his female-20-something friends, give him some time to understand how this position could be hurting his R with you. If I try to put myself in his shoes (and I am NOT saying his behavior was A-OK!), he prob. felt like you were just criticizing him and not seeing so much your need for reassurance. It sounds like he got defensive and dug his heels in. In my own sitch, SO will come back to me in a day or two with some reference to the discussion and understanding the point I was trying to make. Is this typical of S.?
Finally, ease up on yourself - I don't think "stupid struck again". I think you had a very valid issue to raise with him in regards to his behavior with your FF. (BTW, how good a friend is she? Is she also behaving inappropriately?).
Quote: You're a great, attractive, intelligent woman who deserves a man who treats you well and thinks the sun rises and sets on you.
