I went through the day wondering what I should do to clean up the mini-mess. I decided to do nothing, and Act As If. So, AAI for me on weekdays involves one of us (usually S.) calling to check in around 6 or so to see what we are doing later. No call. 6 - 7 - 8...
I waited, thinking he was taking cave time (because it got to be 9:30 and he works until 8:30 usually), and I decided that I wasn't going to do "silent treatment" when it is normal to check in, so I called around 9:40 to say, cheerfully, to his VM - because he didn't pick up his cel. - "Hey, it's me, It's almost 10 and I was wondering where you were - I'm home, just checking in - call me when you can, OK bye."
And so at 10:10 he called, I answered VERY cheerfully, and he said he had just had dinner with [MF], I was upbeat and said, "Great!" instead of, "Why didn't you call me to let me know like we always do, ya yahoo," and his voice went up two cheerfulness factors, and he asked if I felt like watching a movie, and I said, instead of a noncommittal-ish "Sure," like I normally would, I decided to try a subtle 180 and I said, "Yes, I do, actually... that would be great!" And he said, again another cheerful decibel up the scale, "OK! Good! I'll call you when I get home," and I said OK, and he said, again breaking all cheerful records, "Great! OK! Talk to you later! Bye!"
So, big relief for him that I didn't rake him over the coals for not checking in, and it looks like the baby 180 (maybe a 110?) worked. I'm usually more blasé about watching movies, and so I thought I'd try a definitive YES instead of a Sure.
OK, not trying to make mountains out of molehills here, just logging the baby steps.
S. called just now, he's on his way to my house. I asked him to bring the ice cream I left in his freezer, and he said in a playful voice, "Nnnyeah, I was going to surprise you...!" and so, it looks like all is forgiven.
I think when we're snuggled into bed later I will say, "S., I just wanted you to know I'm sorry I reacted badly to the flowers, and I had a great time with you last night, and I really loved it that you took me out, and I don't want to take away from that." And I'll save asking for words of affection for when we've sat down to our LL charts.
