Hmmmm, nice over here in Piecing... hope I get to follow you over here soon...
Gee, I'm in Sales too (but you already knew that...). I'd have to say from a sales perspective I agree w/ Betsey.
But, I do understand that you're saying this "what are you thinking?" is a common, short-hand for you guys to invite the other to speak. And I'll trust that it works well and often for you. [Question: can you verify that it works when you say it as well as when he says it? or is it HIS thing and he misses it when you use it?]. Apart from the question, I'll follow you on that this convention works for you guys.
I think the key is, knowing when NOT to use it. IOW, knowing when NOT to prompt for a reply. Knowing when YOUR message to him needs some pondering, and so any gut response would not be as great of value as a thoughtful one later.
Anyways, we did kinda talk about this stuff on tuesday night, didn't we? That your reconciliation was such a HIGH, so romantic, etc. and that now you've returned to the regularly scheduled program - meaning a more watered down version of that romantic high.
If I recall correctly, those early days were filled with lots of VERBAL affirmations of love, reconciliation, etc. And I think this may be where you are getting that 'not as loved feeling' - that S. is not as verbal in his affirmations of love, than he was being then.
Which, ever so conveniently allows me to point you back to your discussion w/ S. on the 5LL's and HIS idea of charting how you each were doing on those. Nudge, nudge, where's your spreadsheet? Could it be that you are not only missing the verbal ILY, but as a result you're missing the physical ILYs, AOS ILYs, the WOA ILYs, etc...?
And I'll stop after this, I promise! - How are you doing in speaking S.'s LL's? How creative can you be with those WOA & AOS and GIFTS (the one you like!)? If your tank is half empty, I suggest trying to top off his...
And hey where's that wonderful, sophisticated, funky, who-used-to-live-in-Paris girl that he was so drawn to . . . ? As I said to Maya, intentions (to be pursued, treasured & ravished) are great - tell me what kind of woman is pursued, cherished, etc.? Who were you when S. was wooing & pursuing you back out of your Oscar-winning Darkness role?
