If you were in sales and you were my employee, I'd have to call you on this:
Quote: When S. and I talk and the other is silent, and we are wondering what the response is, and a response isn't forthcoming, we say "What are you thinking?" to prompt the other person to speak. He does it to me ALL the time, and I do it to him, and it is a standard thing (ONE way we are alike in our communications)!
Stop doing this! In the sales world, you blow the sale!
If he wants you to know what he's thinking, he WILL tell you. It doesn't work in sales, and it didn't work with you last night either! We have a philosphy in the sales world that applies very well in personal interactions:
He who speaks next, owns it!
You've told him what he needs to know... that is, you told him what you were thinking and why you were thinking that. Now, if you want honest feedback, you'd let him think about this and come back to you when he's ready to offer his comments. You don't want to blow the sale, right?
Silence is a gift, Jennifer. It is a means for the other person to ponder and formulate questions. Questions are what he's going to ask to close you.
"Why do you feel that way?"
"I didn't realize I was withholding ILY from you. What can I do to show you that I do?"
Anything.... anything for him to consider your perspective and position.
Does this make sense?
Be a saleswoman, Jen. You want him to buy what you have to offer, right?
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"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
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