Welp. I'll throw in my opinion. I'm not saying that asexuals don't exist, but there was a time in the not so distant past that I would have claimed to be an 'asexual.'
However... since I have 'given up' on meeting a sex quota, and my H has given up 'pressuring me' (whether that is on purpose or because of the pressures of his job, or a freak accident of nature) -- we've stopped taking each other's actions so 'personally,' and a very interesting thing has started to occur.
I'm experiencing 'spontaneous' horniness, and I believe my natural sexual side is starting to emerge from the deepest recesses of my being. I mean, honest to god, I woke my H up last Saturday morning about 5 a.m. because I had been laying there for a good hour so horny I could barely stand it. I didn't want to 'wake' him up because he so needs his sleep... but then I thought, 'you know, I'll let him be the judge of that,' and I woke him up.
I've been dreaming of sex!! With him! The night before last he wanted to have sex, but I had been sick all day and was not in the mood. So we scheduled it for the next night. Last night roles around and I had this 'problem' rattling around in my head... so much so that I could not 'detach' from it to really pay attention to our sex... so I explained all this to him... (he was aware of my 'problem'... he didn't try to fix it, although he was willing to help if he could... BUT he didn't minimize it or personalize it either... big, Big BIG HUGE). Anyway, so I ask him if we could just do a quickie 'cuz I was not in the proper mental frame of mind to EC. But I WAS horny. It was fast, it was fun, it felt AWESOME... and in no time flat, I could go back to stewing over my problem... and funny as it may sound, that quickie gave me enough of a 'mental break' that I was able to 'solve' my problem.
In short... we are getting along. We're communicating. H is okay with the fact that I'm not HD like him and doesn't seem to hold it against me any longer... but conversely, I understand that he shouldn't have to be LD like me... and I'm not holding his HD against him. We're willing to work together on it... we seem to be able to focus on solving the problem rather than personalizing the issues...
But in any event... I'm not so sure that there is such a thing as HD and LD when you really get right down to it... there is only HD and LD states when something else is wrong in the marriage. I dunno. I could be wrong...
