Yes, I have to say that other than my shocked disbelief in a way it did feel good. She locked her doors and didn't come out till the deputy showed up! Told him she was in fear for her life.
I caught mostly her tire and my van is much worse looking from the incident.
Maybe she shouldn't be traipsing around on property that doesn't belong to her!
I discussed my ad's last night with the C and I am going to stay on the dosage I am on for another two weeks, till I see her again and we will revisit how I am doing on this dosage at that time.
Pam
"We must be willing to let go of the life we had planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us"
Quote: Always being, and needing I might add, to be available can't be good for your own detachment.
From Dazedboy on LnL's thread. Not that I am working on an R anymore. But this is a good reminder for me of something that didn't go as it should have in the process!
Pam
"We must be willing to let go of the life we had planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us"
What I think is rather an eye opening realization for me happened this morning in the grocery!
They were of course playing Christmas music and the song was I believe titled, 'Santa bring my baby back to me', Elvis was singing and it hit me, the person that D is now, I really wouldn't want back!
I miss the person I married a lot. Sometimes I wonder if I saw him as I wanted him to be and he was really the person he is now the whole time. I'm not sure of my answer there, I hope not, but it is a possibility. When you are in love you see what you want to see don't you?
The mess of lost friends and even the loss of D's friendship still hurts and seems like a bad dream, but maybe my two marriages were preparing me to become a whole person who could spend the rest of her life alone and I wasn't meant to be married for my whole life. I know, life is choices, but it was something I was wondering about today.
I can see the progression. It is like looking back at a winding, hilly path full of zigs and zags and yet it continues onwards and upwards. I feel much more complete and whole a lot of times now.
It would still be nice to have the companionship, sharing and ML but not all the stuff that I dealt with interacting with D here in the past 3 years.
I hope this feeling stays with me, it is at least a nice calm feeling.
Hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving. I had a very nice day.
M and I went to the Hubers farm and did the buffet for lunch, then walked the shelties and put my new bookcase together and sat it up in my office!
What could have been a sad day only had a few ghosts to deal with, I thanked M and she agreed it could have been a sad day for us both and it wasn't, we enjoyed it.
Pam
"We must be willing to let go of the life we had planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us"
I was musing in a similar way today. I don't want my H back in the mode he is in right now, frankly. Like you say, maybe he hasn't changed at all, he's just showing me his bad said fully frontal, as it were, whereas before I saw the pleasant side, I don't know.
I can't see much change or growth either, from where I am standing, though who am I to say?
My H is fond of saying that charatcer is destiny (a quote of Heracles, I believe) but when he says it, he says it ruefully, like he realises he can't escape his destiny.
I just did a Google search to look up the source of the saying, and came up with two interesting things. The first, a book with that title -
"An inescapable truth lies at the heart of this simple yet profound book: The quality of our lives is not determined by the happenstance of genetics or by the influence of environment; it is not measured in material possessions or in the trappings of youth; it is not dependent on personality or social acclaim. On the contrary, the intrinsic value of the lives we lead reflects the strength of a single trait: our personal character....
....Russell W. Gough, a nationally prominent writer and speaker, describes the steps to personal growth from examining our lives to taking responsibility for our actions, from discarding selfishness to embracing the greater good, from becoming a better role model for our loved ones to finding the courage to do the right thing naturally and consistently."
Quote: the intrinsic value of the lives we lead reflects the strength of a single trait: our personal character....
I think this says it all. I think I just added that book to my list. All of a sudden I am reading more and even remembering books I have read that I see in a different light, looking at them from this side of 'the looking glass'. (I couldn't decide what fit there!)
I keep kicking around what I should do about the house at PK. When I know what any of my friends would recommend I come back to, how do I want to feel about how I handled it.
My decision shouldn't and isn't going to be based on D's actions, but on how the me I want to be would handle it. I just haven't figured out how 'me' wants to handle it yet!
Pam
"We must be willing to let go of the life we had planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us"
Seems like there's lots of good stuff going on here! I like reading about how you are disconnecting yourself from the "sitch" and pursuing YOU and your NEW life.
And, yah, I gotta agree with Ellie...while I'm sure the aftermath of the accident is difficult to deal with it's hard to ignore the "priceless" feeling at the same time.
Sage
Relax. Appreciate. Be calm. Laugh. Enjoy. Be secure. Be loving. Be loved. Don't personalize. Don't ASSume. Accept. Be grateful.
Quote: keep kicking around what I should do about the house at PK. When I know what any of my friends would recommend I come back to, how do I want to feel about how I handled it.
My decision shouldn't and isn't going to be based on D's actions, but on how the me I want to be would handle it. I just haven't figured out how 'me' wants to handle it yet!
What needs to be decided? And what does your lawyer think is fair? Did you buy the house together? Then you should split the proceeds. Did he own it before? Then you should split the appreciation that happened during the marriage.
Don't leave behind money that is yours just because you don't want to deal with it. Let your attorney handle it.
