I was musing in a similar way today. I don't want my H back in the mode he is in right now, frankly. Like you say, maybe he hasn't changed at all, he's just showing me his bad said fully frontal, as it were, whereas before I saw the pleasant side, I don't know.
I can't see much change or growth either, from where I am standing, though who am I to say?
My H is fond of saying that charatcer is destiny (a quote of Heracles, I believe) but when he says it, he says it ruefully, like he realises he can't escape his destiny.
I just did a Google search to look up the source of the saying, and came up with two interesting things. The first, a book with that title -
"An inescapable truth lies at the heart of this simple yet profound book: The quality of our lives is not determined by the happenstance of genetics or by the influence of environment; it is not measured in material possessions or in the trappings of youth; it is not dependent on personality or social acclaim. On the contrary, the intrinsic value of the lives we lead reflects the strength of a single trait: our personal character....
....Russell W. Gough, a nationally prominent writer and speaker, describes the steps to personal growth from examining our lives to taking responsibility for our actions, from discarding selfishness to embracing the greater good, from becoming a better role model for our loved ones to finding the courage to do the right thing naturally and consistently."
