Healing from the inside out

[psluke]

Thinking this morning I'm not sure how to just face forward. I feel like so much of who I am is the person that I became after marrying D.

The person I thought he was taught me so many things, about life, love, fun, computers. Just about everything. I feel he is still a part of me, but he is gone and I am not sure how to address those feelings. It is like a part of me died and I am not totally sure how to go forward without her.

Sometimes I wonder if any of what I shared of my life with him still feels like it is a part of him? Something I will never know, but wonder.

Tonight there are nine of us going to Actors Theatre to see, 'A Tuna Christmas'. I don't really feel like going but the tickets are bought and M is really looking forward to it so no way would I back out. Besides I will probably enjoy it once I am there.

Then this Sunday is the party that was supposed to be getting back into seeing friends again for me. I planned this before the mess this past weekend and I am not really in a party mood but M talked me out of canceling saying it would be a good distraction for me.

Just seems lots going on in my life right now and I am struggling to focus and keep it all balanced and going in the right direction. I am also not thinking too clearly this week so shouldn't make too many decisions!