Dear PSluke, I am new here and after reading your situation wanted to send my wishes for a good party. You talk about how difficult it is to work on you, well you have a clean slate with your new place to surround yourself with all kinds of inspiration. Favorite artwork, cozy blankets, special books. Make your new home ALL about you and where you want to be inside. With the holidays coming don't worry too much about your decorations in the attic. I know you'll want them back because they have a lot of meaning, but even when you get them, maybe this year try something totally different. Pick a theme for your new place and go to town. If you like blue and silver go for it, red and gold a great choice too. Good luck with the boxes, only pull out what you need and things that make you feel good. Don't forget to buy some fresh cut flowers for yourself and the party. truly, Jennifer
Sounds like you're sore but otherwise unharmed?
Sage
Ms. Sage,
Thank you for the concern. I appreciate it.
I am sore but no injuries. I think the shelties are all ok as well, although I did discuss Breeze with the vet yesterday and I have her on baby asperin. She hit the floor hard. I really have no idea where the others started but I'm sure they ended up on the floor as well.
Pam
"We must be willing to let go of the life we had planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us"
You know I don't feel lonely very often anymore. The kids are a lot of company and I do occassionally do things in the evenings, but tonight I feel very down.
I would suppose it is all the emotions from what happened this past weekend still processing and on less Zoloft as this starts my second week of every other day.
Tonight I sort of want company and sort of don't. Odd feeling, I guess maybe I am specifically missing D.
After all of this time and struggle we put into it we have ended up not speaking. I miss the thought that he is out there even just a little bit.
I do think it is like a grieving process, I just want to make sure to work all the way through it and not get stuck in the middle.
I am checking on getting a home equity loan on my house to pay for expenses that will incur from the weekend, plus pay off the credit card and pay dad back some of what he loaned me.
M came over today while I was at work and hung my blind that she picked up for me at HD. She really can't be a real person, she is way too helpful! I'm thinking my guardian angel to make sure I get through this mess and come out the other side.
You see I can see the positives, so don't understand the down feeling.
The weekend was extremely traumatic and I am still working on straightening it out so that almost has to be it along with D being real gone to the extent that I don't expect to ever see him again now.
Pam
"We must be willing to let go of the life we had planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us"
Doing a couple of things has helped, still sad but not as bad.
I believe I am going to check into seeing a psychologist to help me finish stepping the Zoloft down and hopefully process the rest of the grief over this whole mess.
No idea how you pick one. I don't do that well apparently.
I think the C I saw was not very good and the A I picked wasn't very good either.
Saw another A this morning, had spoken with him over the phone yesterday and he seemed very nice, still did in person but he has gray hair and a pony tail. I was a bit shocked!
Pam
"We must be willing to let go of the life we had planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us"
Poking around before signing off and checked my Cainer Cast, which I haven't done since before the d.
I believe it hit me today.
Is something starting to go wrong? It's easy to paint such a pessimistic picture. You just have to think a little too long and hard about recent events. Some of these still cause you to feel cross or anxious.
If you project these things into the future, it soon starts to look dire. There's no law against carrying such an expectation around. You are entitled to feel awkward or edgy. But if you are enjoying that mood, do not read any further.
Your forecast today, contains a real, firm promise of triumphant delight.
I like the sound of that last sentence!
Checked out the weekly which starts the day of the incident with my van wreck. I think someone is trying to tell me something.
Something is slipping out of control. Wonderful news. It means that you cannot keep up a pretence - or continue to pour valuable energy into some futile effort to maintain a shaky status quo.
A sense of obligation is urging you to try to keep things steady. You don't want to be the first to abandon a promise or a plan. If anything, you would prefer to be the last to give up.
Nonetheless, you will breathe a sigh of relief once you see how inevitable the next wave of change now is.
Little in your world is really wrong. Most of it is more 'right' than you can yet see.
A friend who used to be on the BB e-mailed me Sunday and she said my path ahead is just getting brighter and steadier and more straight.
So despite what it looks like from the outside it seems I should be looking for things to take a good turn in my life.
Pam
"We must be willing to let go of the life we had planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us"
Hi Pam - Sorry to hear about the accident, glad there were no serious injuries. Positive distractions are wonderful PMA boosters - definitely party time
I appreciate it.
