That is something I still can't believe in a way that he put me through, to ask to go out in public to see the show, (her show I think), to be made fun of that way. Did he hate me? I know it needs to not matter why he did it as I'll never know and he probably doesn't know either.
My guess is he was so enamoured of her and wanted to see her show that it didn't matter what he put me through, that he never even considered that aspect of what he was doing.
Pam, this is a GREAT job of depersonalizing what happened and seeing the shades of gray in a sitch (instead of ASSuming it's black/white)!!!
And I love your idea of writing down your self talk ... I think you'll be surprised at how noting it can help you turn it around.
Sage
Relax. Appreciate. Be calm. Laugh. Enjoy. Be secure. Be loving. Be loved. Don't personalize. Don't ASSume. Accept. Be grateful.
Well, I filled a page in my notebook up today. It wasn't with self talk but with thoughts and ideas I had, things I wanted to get done. But, it gave me a positive place to focus and when I caught myself talking or thinking negative I redirected it to something I had noted on my pad.
So for day one this seems to be going to help!
Pam
"We must be willing to let go of the life we had planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us"
Quote: Well, I filled a page in my notebook up today. It wasn't with self talk but with thoughts and ideas I had, things I wanted to get done. But, it gave me a positive place to focus and when I caught myself talking or thinking negative I redirected it to something I had noted on my pad.
Pam...this sounds GREAT! I truly believe that writing stuff down for me is CRITICAL (one of the reasons why I'm always journalling here!). There's something about the transfer from hand to paper to brain that really works for me! It's also a GREAT way to slow your thoughts down so that you can really take them in...
Sage
Relax. Appreciate. Be calm. Laugh. Enjoy. Be secure. Be loving. Be loved. Don't personalize. Don't ASSume. Accept. Be grateful.
Hiya Pam - An open house sound great - we too found that keeping busy with guests helped us heal, people are great distractions while feelings are still raw.
I am finding writing things down is forcing me to think more about what I am thinking and realizing how my train of thoughts run sometimes.
I still find in life's lessons I seem to learn things the hard way. But there is also a feeling within me that I am getting close to being on the right path again and that my life is going to straighten out.
Pam
"We must be willing to let go of the life we had planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us"
Thank you for that suggestion. I had been debating after this weekend letting everyone know I was canceling but it will probably be a good distraction to have people around and since they are my friends they will understand that we just this past weekend finished moving almost everything I own out of PK. So now I have boxes stacked around again!!
I realized yesterday I forgot my stuff in the attic. But it is mostly just Fall and Christmas decorations so D may let me have it when he gets ready to get stuff out of the attic.
Pam
"We must be willing to let go of the life we had planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us"
I am going to follow your lead then and not cancel.
I wrecked my van this past weekend. Still pretty sore and have lots to deal with over the wreck so had really been considering letting my friends know I would need to cancel.
But I can't do anything about anything on a Sunday anyway so why not go ahead and visit with my friends and distract my brain from my problems for a bit.
Pam
"We must be willing to let go of the life we had planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us"
The afternoons are the real challenge so we will see if this helps me. 
But it is mostly just Fall and Christmas decorations so D may let me have it when he gets ready to get stuff out of the attic.