I had the strangest conversation with H tonight....and I keep laughing everytime I think of where the converstion headed.
H and S15 had been gone for 8 days on a canoe trip and just got home tonight. H dropped S15 at the house and came on in. The three of us talked for a bit then S15 went to the bassement to get online with friends. I then fixed H a drink and we talked for an hour or so.
I was also gone this past week taking some college credits at a city 75 miles from home. The course was put on by the Dept. of Education with a free offer of room and board. So, I stayed at the college instead of driving 150 miles home and back every day. Before H left on his canoe trip I had told him I was staying in the city for the week and taking a class.
Well, while having drinks tonight I got grilled on my course. H even outright asked me who I spent the nights with. I told him with "me, myself and I". I guess it was my laughing from shock of being asked such a thing that made H not quite believe me.
Later, D19 had called from work and wanted me to drop some Tylenol off for her...so i asked H to give me a ride to her work on his way to his place and I would walk home since I was going to go out for a walk anyhow. Instead of just dropping me off in front of her building, H pulled into a parking spot. Before I could even get a thank you out, H said, "You spent the week with somebody, didn't you"? I started laughing again because that was so far from the truth. H said he knew I had been with somebody because I had been so secretive about it, and, according to H, none of the kids even knew I was going to be gone for the week. (Apparantly H had asked each of the kids of my plans for the past week).
I once again told H that I was in class all week, that I have 5 out 6 papers finished and turned in, and that there was no one else. In fact, I told him there had been no one else for 27 years now. (To which H repled, "I doubt that's true.) I then said that "I wish there was someone else because this being single sucks". With that, I got out of the car and said good night.
I was laughing most of the way home just thinking about H accusing me of being with someone else. But, I don't know where to go from here, whether the mystery is good or not. It was a year ago or so that H told me it was OK with him if I did find and sleep with somebody else. In fact, H told me to go out and find someone, that it was fine with him and he would never let the kids know.
So, I may just play his wondering for all it is worth. I have another one day class in the city on Monday and I have already told H that I won't be back for a supper for all swimmers and parents. Of course, H is already trying to figure out why I won't be back. Then, next Fri.-Sun. I am going away to a bed-and-breakfast for a quilting retreat. I have not mentioned a word of the retreat to anyone. So, I am now wondering how mysterious I should be about next weekend.
Even though I was in class all week I had a wonderful time being away and just being able to be myself. For me, I even took a big step and actually met some other teachers at a bar for drinks. It was the first time I have ever walked into a bar alone and it was kind of scarey, but I survived!
I am ready to move on but don't feel I can when I have so much contact with H. H was here tonight, we are going to the rodeo together tomorrow night, then we will be together at a swimmeet on Monday night. It is very painful for me to be with H, but we do have 4 kids together so it is hard to avoid it all the time.
