It is hard in your position. I think your H still wants both of you if possible. He does not want to let you or the ow go. If you can accept the situation, he probably will keep the status quo. Until you or the ow ask him to make a choice.
I was in your position before. She kept her R with the om while continue to be my W in the 3 years. Until my W threatened me to leave in Jun 2004 if I took my S to see a Psychologist. I felt at that time, she was so selfish and only wanted to cover up her guilt feeling, did not even consider about my S's well being. So I felt that my W is not worth my love. It is better for me to let go. It was like undergoing an operation for an infection. Short pain but cured afterward. If I was afraid of the operation, I had to endure lesser pain but for a long time. There are many similar situation in life. I asked my W at that night in Jun last year, that it was better for her to go ASAP. I would look after the kids. The rest was history. Now I am living just fine. I keep my promise to look after the kids. And the kids show their appreciation last week by giving me the most wonderful presents for my B-day.
