It has sure been a long week with anything concerning H.....he is back into angry/derogatory mode. It was so bad the kids even tried to step in the middle today. As an example, H was opening gifts this afternoon for Father's Day. H had started opening my gift to him with anticipation until he realized it was from me. I had gotten him a hunting/skinning knife he had been wanting, and had even made arrangements for the designer of the knife to put a personalized inscription to H on the blade...it really was a very thoughtful and wanted gift. But H took a quick look at it, handed it off and never said another word about it. A couple of the kids tried to engage H in conversation about he knife but he totally ignored it and me. H did nothing but make himself look like and a$$ in front of the kids.
But at least he finally told me tonight why he is so angry.
I knew it had to do with the interrogatory questions I answered but I had absolutely no idea they would set him off this bad. He is just fuming over my answer to why I don't believe he should have full legal custody of our son....I answered that I don't like the morals (or lack of) that the has displayed during his A, and that he has been angry to the point of showing violence towards two of our kids.
The stupid thing about those questions is that H was only asked them out of revenge since my L had asked him similar questions. If H hadn't of asked I wouldn't have had to answer them. H believes that my answers will be a part of public record and that anyone can read them.....and he is so concerned that when others read my answers that they will lose any respect they had for him. It was never my intention to hurt H, rather I am trying to protect myself.
Question.... what do you call a married female who has had at least 3 adulterous affairs (that I know of and her H has confirmed) with men since her marriage, and my H is now paying money for things for her each month?? I call her a whore, pure and simple, although I found out tonight that H doesn't like that term.
Tonight I am just plain mad. I have been hurt countless times the past 3 1/2 years, but this is only the second time that I am truely mad. H has refused to name the whore and seems willing to go to jail protecting her. That really hurts, but what truely made me mad tonight was when H said that he could not believe or ever forgive me for writing that he had shown violence towards the kids. According to H that is so much worse than him carrying on a affair the past 5 years. I just don't see it...it must be the alien talking!
H is off on the mothership someplace if he thinks our kids will not want to know what the D record says. H thinks he can continue on with his affair and we will get a friendly D with him dictating the terms. I think not!
So, tomorrow it is back to the lawyer and to order n forensic appraisal(???) of H's business and to get a some kind of "compel" order for H to answer his interrogatory questions with answers other than "a friend".
It has taken a looooong time, but I have come to realize that this M is now over, that I want out, that I no longer even like the person H is, let alone want to be with him.
One other thing hit me tonight and although I very much believe in and worship God, I don't necessarily give much credence to "signs". However, the very first letter that I ever received from H, I was home from college and my dad asked who was writing me and I told my dad who H was.....that H was home on leave from the Marines and I had just met him. My dad's reactions was that you can't trust a Marine. My dad was against my M, and I was not even sure until Dad showed up at my wedding that he would even be there. Anyhow, I was married less than a year when my dad was killed...and I have been married 26+ years. Well, it dawned on me that the first D papers H had drawn up were on my dad's birthday. The second set was drawn up and signed on the anniversary of my dad death. Maybe that was a sign from above?
