I know it is very hard to go through with the D. Even more harder when you still have hope that your H may change his mind and be kind to you. It is difficult to give you a right advice.
In my situation, I am also proceeding with D. My W and I are discussing about to divide our property. Since the children are with me and my W did not contribute any to their living cost, I ask for more share. I have to think for me and my children, while my W is thinking for her and the om's interest. I am not sure what the final agreement will be. The children do not want to live with her because she lives with the OM and our children can't accept that they live with the person destroying their family. My ex W wanted more now as the om is influencing her POV. We discussed in calm manner. But there is no way back.
I have accepted things I can't change and move on with my life. I pray that God grant you peace also.
