I think it is on both sides. For me I don't want to talk to her so I can detach and heal. I have forgiven my W. I have offered my W to start a new chapter of our life if she is willing to let go the om. But she could not. She promised but broke her promises many times. It is difficult to trust her again. 3 years of DBing is enough. I have no regret. She said she is deeply in love with the om. So I let her go. If she showed any remorse or something worth to fight, I would. But my W is willing to leave everything behind: kids, home, family and start a new life with the om. I accepted her choice and move on with my life. If she is happy, good for her. If she regrets later on, it is her problem now. Nothing I can do about it. My only concern is to my kids. I have to look after them. Try to help them overcome this crisis without any lasting damage.
Luckily I can find peace through praying. And I am quite ok considering the circumtances. I have recovered my confidance. Life is not bad. I have still my kids who look up at me. Our relationship has become much closer. I have a good job. Still healthy and attractive. I am OK.
