Today is the 3 year mark from when I first heard the "bomb" and what a journey that time has been. I have been doing a lot of thinking and reflecting back from the time I first heard the "I'm not in love with you". It wasn't until a year later that I found out about ow....an ow that apparently has been in the picture for 4 1/2 years now.

In the past 3 years I started teaching again after a 22 year hiatus, I went back to school and received my Masters, I have started researching and investing on my own and am getting my financial life in order, I have taken my first solo vacation, I've learned to rely on myself and become self-sufficient, and have done so much personal growing I just can't believe it. Although it has been 3 years of immense pain, it has also been 3 years of growth, opportunity and self-fulfillment....and those are things neither H nor a D can take away.

It is amazing what guilt can do to someone.....and I am milking H's guilt for everything I can get. H's guilt has given me new faucets in the kitchen and one of the bathrooms, new locks on the garage doors, a new sump pump, a new dishwasher, new windows in over half the house (to be installed next month), and yesterday I got an email from H asking if I wanted a new stove.....ya betcha! Let's see what else I would like for the house as long as H is on his guilt trip....a new driveway, sodding for the front yard, the house painted, a new car.....and I don't feel a bit guilty asking/hinting since I know H has been paying for some of ow's stuff.

I am not sure what to make of this but H called me at 1:30AM this morning. H said he was tired and had called me by mistake and that he meant to call his office to leave a message that he would not be in until late this morning. I think is awfully weird that H "accidently" called my number. Another thing that also bothers me.....I had given H a blue-jean shirt a few months ago. I had worn it a few times but it was kind of big on me, so I asked H if he would like it. Well, that is the shirt that H wears the majority of the time I see him. He has even commented a couple of times that it is the shirt I gave him. (Heck, if I was D somebody I don't think I would be wearing their clothes! ). There are so many little things that just don't add up.....but then again, there are so many things that do add up to H splitting, namely those stupid D papers!

Oh well, life now is so much better now than it was 3 years ago.....if a D is what it takes to get my life back and on track, then so be it....

Wishing