Oh Lettie, I don't feel a bit guilty about getting what I deserve out of the D. In fact, my L said he would get me what was fair but I said "no, I want what I think is fair", which I think is basically everything. As long as H maintains his guilty feelings I think he will be willing to give me more.
Quote: Until he knows exactly what he wants (which may never happen, but then it might) he will continue to do what he is doing.
I couldn't agree with you more! For someone who makes such quick decisions in his business, H sure is at a snail's pace in our R. When I found out about the continued A two weeks ago and told H to "get out" I also told him to get me update D papers and I would sign them. I went on to tell him that if he wanted a D so badly then all he would have had to do these past 2 years (since I found out about the first A) was to tell me he was in contact with ow. I have never, ever waivered on drawing my line at contact with ow. And once I fould out there was contact it was an immediate "get out, I'll sign the D papers".
Well, the "get out" part happened 2 weeks ago and no papers yet. Do ya get the idea H still isn't sure?? To me, he thinks he wants a D, but now that I will willingly give it to him, he is not so sure.
In the meantime, I am trying to live my own life, but if H wants to include himself in that life then I have not turned him away.
H got to my home in time last night to pick MIL and I up to go to son's band/choir concert. H was in a wonderful, warm mood and was as courteous as all get out. These non-tensioned filled times are so nice. I even noticed that several times during the concerts that H would even lean against me and not pull away. That is a big thing for me because H knows that physical contact is my LL.
I went to bed shortly after we got back home but H was still here talking to MIL. I was very shocked when I came downstairs this morning to see H's car still here. I am assumming he spent the night here, but he didn't ask me about it. I guess that is an issue I will have to deal with since I have no intention of giving H quite that much freedom around here.
I still believe that honey will get me more than vinegar at this point in time. However, trust me, my heart has definitely hardened and I will never be a doormat again!
