I had a very pleasant day with H. Our hour trip to the swim meet was very relaxed and, for a change, H was actually talkative. H even surprised me by sitting next to me most of the several hours we were at the meet. He even went and got us some lunch which we shared. And most shocking of all, H actually leaned against me several times. (It has been 4 months since H has not recoiled when even brushing against me.)
Who in the heck is this guy????? For me, today was all about what being married is. You share, joke, listen, and enjoy one another.
We got home mid-afternoon and H wanted me to go with him to get a sump-pump that needed to be replaced. I told him I would, but I would like to take a nap sometime. H suggested we take one before going out shopping. We did, but in seperate rooms.
When I woke up from my nap I started supper since son was starving. H was here, set the table, and joined in. Then we went shopping. Even that was very much like old times, very pleasant and relaxing.
We got home, visited with the kids, H fixed his coffee maker for morning, then left for his place. This was the first time I have actually watched him leave my home for his place and that was difficult.
I THINK I CAN!! I think I can do this. After all, I figure I can end up with more $$$$ in the D by using sugar than vinegar.
I feel like I have "dropped the rope". While I had a wonderful day with H, there was no question in my mind that he would not be staying here. Just because H was nice today does not mean that I have swept this A under the rug.
For me to even entertain the thought of letting H back he would have show remorse and get into C. Neither of which will ever happen. I will no longer ever be with someone I do not trust......and I most certainly do not trust H.
In the meantime, I can enjoy H's company without getting my hopes up, and that has to be helpful to everyone.
