Lettie, I made a decision 2 years ago, and told H, that if there was ever any communication between him and ow then our M was over. I never waivered from that. So, in a way, my decision and conviction of that decision, to kick H out, was made 2 years ago. I never gave it a second thought that I would not follow through.
H called tonight to see what time son's swim meet is tomorrow. I didn't know off hand and told H I would check the internet. H asked a couple of times if I would call him with the info. He also said he assumed we would be riding down together and I said that was OK.
When I called him back a few hours later, he tried to make a joke about us having to leave so early (5:15 am) but overall sounded tired. (He won't get back to town from his business trip until midnight). He asked 3-4 times if I wouldn't call him at his place when I got up because he didn't have an alarm clock there. He then said he would be to my home about 15 minutes before we have to leave. (I am assuming early so son won't know he didn't spend the night here?)
What I am finding (I hope) is that I can be pleasant to H without any expectations for our M. Anger over what H has done is not consuming me by any stretch of the imagination, but there is enough there to give me strength.
Wish me luck in spending all day tomorrow with H at a swim meet!!
