Wow, what a note. And she is right in everything she wrote. Thankfully, I don't have a current thread. I came here when I was devasted from a failed R, but that was a long time ago. I am ok, actually happy at this point. I see an old bf of mine...nothing serious, but we enjoy each others company. I have been through serious cr*p with him also, but he did not betray me, only didn't treat me with respect and one point. But the tables are turned and he is more interested at this point. He knows how I feel, and I would really like to meet someone else who I am more compatible with at this point in my life. He is not a giver...nice, but not a giver...and I am. But I gave too much to the men in my life, and I see that clearly now. That does not work either...he took me for granted for many years. So with that said...I will tell you how I feel about R's in general. Do what you have to do, whatever it may be, whether it is putting up with a mid-life crisis, an affair, disrespect, whatever...until you feel it eroding your self esteem, self respect, and dignity. I have put up with a great deal...some things I might do again, many, many other things I will never put up with again. I simply cannot allow someone to see another person while they want me also. I might walk away and leave the door open for a certain amount of time, but that is all. I think back to what I allowed my ex-bf to do (not my current, but the one who I came to this website about), and I cringe at the thought now that I was so weak. The lies and doing things right in front of my face...it is hard for me to even think back. But wishing, we all learn from our past mistakes and R's, whether it be a marriage or just a R...and boy, what you and I have learned will more than likely not allow us to suffer like this again. You and Raindeer deserve so much more...and I have to tell you, your H saying "he never meant for you to find out..." tells it all. Just a tad narcissitic, eh? Hang in there...life will be good for you. You have great kids and you get out there in time to enjoy life. Put this behind you for now.
