Wishing, in time your children will come to understand...right now, they may not want to really believe that he would do this. As far as your timeline on making him leave, that was your decision and yours alone. Do not beat yourself up about it. But I can tell you this...once you go through this, I seriously doubt you will put up with anywhere near what you did before. I know I won't. I was in a state of denial and didn't want to believe someone could do that to me, but once I knew for a fact, it was over. I am not competing with another woman, ever...it is just too painful and I feel as adults, we all make choices...and he made his. His cake-eating was for his benefit and his alone. And I promise, you will feel a great sense of relief...for one, you did give it a good while to work itself out and gave him the benefit of doubt, so you can stand tall and know that you did what you had to do. I think that if someone shows remorse and wants to make a R work, they will do everytbing in their power to do just that. Many people recover from affairs. The ones that do not show remorse will not give their all to a M. I remember what you said about H thinking nothing should change, that you could interact the same as always...and in his mind keep OW too. That is totally selfish and not acceptable, especially after all this time. I think back to being so horribly hurt and betrayed and wonder how someone could be so cruel as to play both sides. But it happens and we are done with it. I am sorry this went on for so long and you have alot ahead of you, but please understand that the worst is really over. Your hurt and pain has surfaced and you are on the road to healing, as is Raindeer.
