I have enjoyed 3 days without hearing from H...until he called tonight. Someone from the house called H's cellphone but didn't leave a message, so H called home to see what was going on. (It turned out that S15 had called H but that I had already answered son's question.)
S15 was headed out the door for a choir concert when H called. H seemed upset that he didn't know about the concert...but I reminded him that I had heard S15 tell him about it last week and H's only comment then was "I won't be there".
Well, the conversation went down the tubes from there. H had asked me to take care of a flat tire, which I did. But, as H is prone to do with me, he gets frustrated with me if he doesn't know all the details immediately without giving me a chance to tell him what went on. After about 2 minutes I was fed up with H's tone of voice and told him that he confuses me when I talk to him, then I wished him a goodnight and hung up. I just wished he hadn't called, or that I hadn't answered the phone.
So much for DBing when we can't even carry on a conversation. Of course, the conversation before I started explaining about the flat tire was very nice, but then again, all we talked about was H and what he was doing, with me validating him up the ying-yang.
I had supper with D18 and D22 a couple of nights ago. Somehow we got on the subject of the "5 Languages of Love" and come to find out D22 had read it. We talked some about it, then D22 said that she had been trying to think of any adult couples that she knew that seemed happy and that she could only think of 1 that she felt was truely happy, and they had only been married for a couple of years. That is so incredibly sad! It was even sadder that she does not think of her own parents as being happy (but we are not). I most definitely do not have the type of marriage that I want my kids to have.
The girls were also talking about the fact that H can NEVER admit he is wrong. That is so true. I can remember H sitting in MC's office and c telling him that an EA is cheating. H threw up his hands and said; "I do not consider what I have done, wrong." And that was even before he admitted to a PA. If H could not even admit that having a PA was wrong, I guess nothing is wrong in his book. I almost told that to the girls, but held my tongue since they do not yet know about the A.
S15's concert tonight was wonderful and he looked so grown-up in a dress shirt and tie. He is over 6 feet now and looking quite the dashing young man. I am enjoying my time with D18 while she is home on break and fixed her one of her favorite meals tonight. No matter my feeling towards H, he did give me 4 of the best the things of my life (my kids), and for that I would really go through this pain all over again.