Quote: -------------- Here's the problem. He blamed me for his LD because I was overweight and lacked fashion sense, so he was mean to me because I was overweight and lacked fashion sense. I readily admit that I am more attractive now and I have no intention of gaining back the weight, but I feel sorry for fat me. Also, I have to ask myself why I want to be involved with a man who is only nice to me when I am thin. I know it has a lot to do with his own self-esteem, but sometimes I don't care. I know I'm regressing and being overly simplistic, but I've never seen a single movie or read a single book in which the ugly duckling turns into a swan and then lives happily ever after with the character who called her ugly and shunned her company. --------------
He was blaming you for HIS problem. You are not a fat slob and he knows it. Regardless, the sting of those comments will take a while to go away. They do leave very real scars. The only thing you can do is to spend as little time as possible dwelling on the old hurtful things, not for some mental gymnastic award, but because they have been addressed and hopefully dealt with by your husband, never to return. In time, those scars will not be so painful or obvious.
If he has not addressed those issues, then he needs to, NOW.
On the positive side, the ups and downs, pain, sorrow and joy all mean that your marriage is not only recovering, but getting stronger. With the issues you two have addressed, your marriage is better than it has ever been, and the chances for its long term survival, and your goal of being desired when you are old, are getting better by the day.
I read all of your posts, Jenny, and I find it most pleasant to read of your new life with your husband.
All the best, -NOPkins-
I will ferret out an affair at any opportunity.
-An affair is the embodiment of entitlement, fueled by resentment and lack of respect. -An infidel will remain unreachable so long as their sense of entitlement exceeds their ability to reason.
