JJ, I think your resentment is a little misplaced. I think you should be pissed at his RUDENESS not the fact that he was not turned on by your figure. That is a matter of personal preference. If he prefers his women to be more thin than fat, then that is what he prefers. He can't help that, anymore than I can help the fact that I like men with super short hair.
But the fact that he was mean and rude about it is completely unacceptable. He should be flogged for being such an insensitive ass and "blaming" you for his LD, when that likely had little to do with it. I'll bet if you were to convey your fears about wrinkles to him, he'd laugh and say he won't care at all about that. What do you think?
My H prefers me to be thin, also. I have no problem with that. After D5 was born, I did not lose 20 lbs of the baby fat that I gained. I kept this on until after D2 was born and then lost everything. He was not overcome with lust for me, but he did mention that he really liked my new figure. I still don't inspire him to desire me, just based on my looks, but the fact that I am thin (read: will be thin soon, lol) makes it MUCH easier for him to respond to me sexually.
However, even when I had an extra 20 lbs on me he never said a word about it. When I'd gripe about it, he'd say to start exercising and that was the only indication I had that he would prefer for me to lose weight. At that point I was 155 lbs and five feet nine inches, so I was far from obese but the fact remains that when I weigh 135 (my preferred weight) he finds that far more appealing.
Anyway, if I were you, I would address the fact that he was rude and mean and leave the weight out of it. It is HIS preference and telling him that he is out of line for feeling that way will get you nowhere, imo. But he really should be told in no uncertain terms that there will be no tolerance for that kind of behavior in the future--those days of Jenny being the whipping girl for MW's crappy behavior are OVER.
Good luck getting past this; I know it still stings..:(
