JJ, I think it's part of the healing process to have past angers and resentments flare up as you progress. Remember that part of these feelings about H has to do with you...anger and resentment at yourself for being allowed to be treated this way.
Once again, you highlight an important area of sexuality--- superficial appearance and the aging process. I believe how WE handle these issues will affect our H's perspectives.
I personally feel I have looked "hotter" in the last 2 yrs than I did a decade ago. Yet, a few weeks ago my H pointed out some graying of my hair. I let it go at the time but brought it up in MC, stating that I feel I maintain myself well but cannot deny reality and that his comment said more about him and where he is at than about me. I said while I appreciate his concern about my appearance, he is best off,as my H, sticking to positive comments as we age together. The counselor gave me some validation( he he)anddiscussed some fears H had. IHJ-- who still has that plan to be a sexy 80 yr old, wrinkles and all
