Quote: I think they see this as a huge lack of respect, when we let ourselves "go".
I know that this is true because this is what my H has tried to convey. It just doesn't make sense in some ways because 2/3 of all adult Americans are overweight. How can a problem shared by the majority of your peers be a personal indication of disrespect? I was just normal middle-aged midwestern mom overweight (at least half the people waiting in line at the donut store were fatter than me. LOL) I think part of the problem in my sich is that my H is naturally skinny (6'1", 165 -frequently eats two double quarter pounders or whole pints of ice cream with no consequences). He has no clue how hard it is to lose weight so he didn't understand that it wasn't as simple as just making a choice to eat fewer calories.
Quote: Does this have to do with a fear that you *may* someday slip into getting overweight again?
No, I'm "scared slender" for good I think. But, I have worried that other superficial things may occur that will zap his desire and kindness such as wrinkles and sagging. I guess if I can believe that my overweight was an issue with him because he felt like I had some control over it,perhaps he'll cut me some slack on the aging process because clearly there's not much I can do to avoid that eventually.
The real problem I am having is that I may not be able to treat him with respect because I may not be able to feel respect for someone who is unkind to someone who is struggling with a problem like losing weight. I suppose I should try to be kind to someone like my H who is struggling with the problem of self-centered immaturity, but this is difficult. It's like that saying "I'm tolerant of everything but intolerance.". I guess I'm finding it hard to be "kind to the unkind". I'm stuck back in the Old Testament looking for an "eye for an eye".
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
