I can certainly see why you would resent this, but look at it from a guy's perspective.

It seems like most men fear getting married and then the wife getting either a. fat or b. not wanting to have sex. There are probably a few more, but these hit me as some of the things I've heard them say.

I think they see this as a huge lack of respect, when we let ourselves "go". And giving a man respect at home means that he can basically deal with all the disrespect he gets outside the home.

I know having kids, slowing metabolism, lack of time to work out, etc, presents a HUGE challenge to maintaining weight. Believe you me, as I sit here 10 pounds overweight...I know!

I have figured out that my H's self esteem is deeply connected to his sex drive. There are a TON of things that I find "odd" about what he thinks is "respectful". I can argue and fight it, but that got me almost D'd. Today, I try to ferret them out, and am seeing how as I work on them, my H gets a bit more to be what I want, too.

Does this have to do with a fear that you *may* someday slip into getting overweight again?

Try to forget the fairytales--your story is 1000x more interesting, with a "real life" prince charming and everything!! It has certainly given me a renewed sense of hope!

Laura