My W is coming home today and I need to get ready. I don't know what kind of mood she will be in, but I've gotten over most of my irritation and can at least talk to her.
I don't want to lose momentum. W may want to talk about bills and mini-blinds, but I want to talk about us. I will first ask her whether she has thought about what I told her about co-sleeping in Japan leading to wide-spread child abuse. I will mention that I have an appointment with a Japanese C and that I would be happy if W would accompany me. I will try not to get angry regardless of her responses. And I will ask W to agree to sleep with me every Saturday night, and ask her to not egg on the kids on those nights. Other than that I will be open to her suggestions.
Regarding egging on the kids: the main thing that angered me was that on the night we agreed to sleep together, W allowed a tired D6 to cry and carry on when her Mom would not sleep with her. D6 claimed that she has nightmares on the nights when no adult sleeps with her. On hearing that, W nearly started crying herself. Well, the last two nights while W was overseas, I put the kids to bed, lay with them 30 minutes till they fell asleep then went to my own bed. Each of the following mornings, kids were bright and bushy-tailed, with no talk of nightmares. I even asked D6 about her dreams this morning and she said something about Power Puff girls. I don't even think she realizes that I didn't stay the whole night.
The other day, S4 asked me why I want to sleep with Mom. I did not give the truest answer, that I want to pork her , but gave a more age-sensitive answer, "Because that's what Mommys and Daddys do." But I swear the wheels are turning in this kid's head. It sounds like the classic Father and Son vying for Mother's attention, but it's kind of fun.
One last thing: about power. It could be that W refuses even to discuss our the sexual aspects of our R because it could lead to her relinquishing her power. Ironically, my American C suggested that W behave the way she does because she feels a lack of power. I feel that in 21st century America, power should give way to discussion, dialogue, negotiation and, if possible, consensus.
Paul, who doesn't understand why public schools are closed on election day
, but gave a more age-sensitive answer, "Because that's what Mommys and Daddys do." But I swear the wheels are turning in this kid's head. It sounds like the classic Father and Son vying for Mother's attention, but it's kind of fun. 
