I think you'll actually find that if we feel you're slinging dirt unnecessarily we'll call you on it and try to keep you grounded. I know there has been more than one time on this board that I've had the error of my ways pointed out to me...but it's sure nice to have the support and not feel alone through all of this too.
In a lot of ways I think W is more American than I am. How so? She is quite pushy in many public situations. She likes to have her way. I am more like you would think a typical Japanese would be. I give in to the group will most of the time. It turns out that W does not find that an endearing trait; she thinks I'm weak.
There is no one Japanese sexuality any more than there is one American sexuality. The one big verboten is that you should never talk about sexual issues outside the home, and I am violating that principle right now without her knowing it.
I don't think we ever had sex in Japan, but we haven't had any sex anywhere in 4 years. The bed in Japan is a family bed, with the kids. It's actually a futon and I have to do as the Romans there. The fortune teller tends to deal in generalities, like you should change jobs or you will have a baby this year. I don't know what the fortune teller actually says. W knows I'm not a big believer.
I am trying to hook up with a Japanese marriage counsellor in Chicago. I figure W might go then, but again, W does not think there is any problem besides my complaining.
Thanks for your support. I'm still holed up at work. I think she'll call, we'll see what happens of she does.
Man I was pi$$ed this morning. She was her normal cheerful self and was taken off guard. If I do something like this again, I don't know how she'll take it. I'm trying to be careful here.
Quote: The bed in Japan is a family bed, with the kids.
Is this just at her house in Japan, or is this the norm in a Japanese family? If the latter, then to her it IS normal for the whole family to sleep together? Obviously, throughout the centuries, families have slept together longer than they have slept separately, BUT that hasn't stopped people from having sex... When she was growing up, did she sleep with sibs and parents in the same bed? And did the parents only go off and sleep together alone on special occasions or just every now and then?
Some of the details regarding my wife's growing up are sketchy. W's little sister claims that she slept with at least mom until she was a teenager(?) W doesn't remember how long she herself did. One thing W always says is that there were no "romantic weekends" or dinners out for her parents. Everything that was done was done with the kids. OK, fine, that's true for my parents, too for the most part. But my parents slept in their own bed in their own room.
The people she measures herself against are the Japanese women who currently live in the US. Most of them are flight attendants who are married to Americans. W thinks that one of them still sleeps with their kid, a 12-year-old(?) Most of them have separate rooms for the kids.
