I'm a little late, and you've gotten lots of explanaitions, but I'm going to jump in too.
I think this part of the board is a little different in that for the most part, we haven't left, or been left behind. We're dealing with an essential part of our M, and trying to do it while running normal lives. Like someone said, there is noone to talk to. When a S leaves, you run to Mom, or your best friend and say 'They left me!' Think what the response would be if you said 'They won't have sex with me!'
You know, while I was reading HP's thread tonight, I was thinking, I can see my husband in a lot of what she says, and not just the avoiding sex part. It bothers me that I have painted my H in not so beautiful colors (to say the least). He's a good guy, but not so good at relationships. If it wasn't possible to come here, to spill my guts and say what do I do???? I would be going crazy.
For most of us, keeping the status quo, or making our S feel comfortable does just that - makes them feel that everything is ok, while we're still reeling inside. If you read, you'll find that lots of people here have fallen over backwards making their S lives more comfortable, hoping that they would realize how much they love them, hoping that they would agree to share that special intimacy between two long term friends/lovers.
I for one admire all the people who've had the guts to post here, and I think their Ss are lucky people for having someone so committed to them on their side.
