There is no "winning" in these situations but the mutual willingness to develop an agreement to cooperate and validate each other's needs and point of views. You cannot change your wife, she must want to change herself and take steps to do just that. She is hiding behid a cultural screen that has some merit, but it's been used for too long. You must accept her culture but will she ever accept yours?
I hate to see people use the children as intermediaries in their relationship problems.. Children should not be used as shields or excuses to pop up behaviors within a relationship. The responsibility should lie in your own hands. To do otherwise is unconscionable...
