I know how those "repeat" encounters can be. It ties in to the sensitivity factor. We stick our neck out just a tad and reel it back in as soon as we detect the possible glint of something sharp.
Sometimes they don't even have to flash the steel.
As to the discovery of this Previously Undiscovered Territory - while not one of my happier moments, it did end up moving us along a bit faster than we probably would have.
I think we as couples can get lost on the Euphemism Highway - "I want us to have a happier marriage" is way too vague to be much help at all. And obviously, we wouldn't be here if we had managed to make ourselves clear enough to our spouses. If we can eliminate the possibility of our spouse being Satan incarnate put here on earth to make our lives miserable (joking aside, there ARE some really bent people) then we must operate from the foundation that our spouse can be reasoned with (eventually) and isn't intentionally, with malice, refusing to attempt to meet our needs. Joyce Landorf wrote a book years ago entitled "Irregular People" - might be worth a look-see for folks who may wonder about the apparently cruel responses they get from their SOs.
