Molliew- WOW! Thanks soooo much for replying. I AM trying hard, and it IS hard to do this. When I said I talked to MIL today and I told her how little H and I talk and that I really wanted to call him today but was unsure, she was the one who suggested that I wait till Friday and then call and say a quick hello. I just took" haven't heard from you in a while" as my que to be able to call without feeling like I was intruding-ONCE in a while.My H can be funny that way. I just don't want him to be able to say "well YOU never even called ME, you didn't care , blah blah blah" I know I have to stay as distanced as I can, and I have been really really good about my darkness, PMA and "posture" during phone calls or in person. And you're right, its only gonna be two months but it DOES feel like forever to me! At 8 months you are a pillar of strenghth-but your H is actually wanting to be you! I always feel like if mine has a spare half hour left over at the end of the week, I may get a visit. After all HE is not the one cryin his eyes out every day, and wondering what I'm doin or who I'm doin it with .And he did say he likes his life the way it is right now. So I have to wait.
As for the get a life deal, I thought I was gonna have a way easier time with that, but I have not. I was always the more outgoing of us two, have friends at work, but only one friend that lives thousand miles away.He never really had too many friends his whole life,but He seemed to have a whole life in place as soon as he walked out- friends ,apartment, girls already lined up vying for his attention- they sucked up to him big time. My H is a smart really good looking guy, I am sure they were estactic the day they found out he was seperated. He even told me they all came running when they found out (geeze, can you imagine???) Before we split, A few of his buddies at work had bikes, so for a while we had tons of fun going to biker stuff. Do you think it would be ok for me to go to an event by myself? Would it look like I was "looking"?I really miss so much of our lives . Even this last year and a half while we were going through all this bad crap before he left, we managed to have fun doing things together. That why I can't understand why he can not let go of this historical obsession with what happened 21 years ago! If you really love someone, you WORK on it right?? Thats why I think he is MLC, from what I read if thats the case its all about THEM, and screw everyone else.
