So much of this I want to tell you cause you said your H and mine are somewhat similar. I told him that I was so hoping we were going forward I was even hoping to surprise him with a few new "moves ". He was teary eyed and says "I guess some other guy will have to be the luck recipient of that... and then he tells me that "I should have no problem finfding someone because I am attractive and have no kids and that is a premium". Great, so I am a freakin' marketable commodity now???
Do you think I should even call him on Wednesday for our dinner arrangement for Thursday? I was the one who asked, and even though all this happened on Sunday when I said "guess that thursday thing is off now " trying to be sarcastic and fishing at the same time. But he says' "no, we can still do that" After all this I still want to see him (stupid me) , or should I just let it go and forget about it now? All my friends have told me to now consult an lawyer. Not to clean him out, but to find out what I am entitiled to so he can't "guilt" me into giving up what I am suposed to have.Everyone I tell what happened on Sunday says that I have to stop blaming myself for all of this . Yes he could have been that wounded by all of it, but it was 21 freakin years ago. And he had an affair too! They say He is just USING YOU as the excuse to get out.I am thinking that OW is not a factor that much anymore cause the last couple of time he made mention that he can turn his phone off for peace and quiet when he wants and only pick up the text messages when he wants. I think by him having dinner there and "trying on " that life may have put the squash on it. There is still that other one with the smaller kids but she is feisty, independent and recently got her own house and got her life toghether and takes good care of her kids (sounds like he was bragging on her) Like he has respect for her. . My friends say that maybe he WANTs to be challenged. Ok, maybe. Maybe he wants to just be by himself. So if there is no definite OW and he likes his life the way it is, how can I DB against that?? He says he is at ease with himself at his new life because he has peace and quiet, and he can do what he pleases and he doesn't have to think about me with that guy all the time.He says he is not yelling at contractors now because he was so angry and messed up all the time thinking about what I did to him. I feel so bad for all of it, but everyone keeps telling me "WAKE UP-ITS OVER, he likes his new life, he is NOT coming back.THIS IS NOT YOUR FAULT ANYMORE!!!!!He chose to leave a person that made his life easy, and took crap from him for years. LET HIM GO!"
We divorced once before and he came back.I am told that just because it happened once, it doesn't mean it'll happen again. Its too many years gone and you are both different. Why do you want this person back. Am I hanging on to nothing here? Is it still possible to DB against this? HELP!!!!