I have lost my soulmate to OW

[So Very Tired]

Lost in Fla my husband told me the same thing when he fell in love with his first affair, that she acted the way I used to act when we first met! Do these men understand that DATING is different from MARRIAGE??!? Of course she acts the way I used to when we met,she was in COURTING mode! Plus he might be true about us have somewhat similar personalities, but over the years of uninvolment in the relationship,arguments and headaches,disappointments and heartache, how can I keep that carefree personality that I had back then? They make no sense but you can't prove it to them,they need to find out for themselves....sometimes I wish that when I found out about his first affair that I had been "O.K. go,see if she makes you happy" I would love to see them now 3 years later. One or the other would probably have already left. Probably her because she just liked the competition I think. Or him, when she started asking for help around the house,or turning down sex occasionally, or asking him to go places with her,or complaining about his lack of care for the relationship, or gained some weight. (All the things I have asked for and done over the years) ok I am ranting, sorry.....thank God for this board though,it has saved me many times from going "snap,crackle,pop" on him when the anger starts bubbling to the surface!