KML wrote << Has your W always been like this? >> Yes, getting worse the more she works at her liberal place of employment where other employees are in credit counseling because they get what they want.
Example, car will not start. W. Car will not start, I guess I will have to get a new battery. H. Do the instrument lights (oil, check engine) come on if you turn the key. W. I do not remember, or I never looked. H. When you turned the key did any sound come from the enging compartment? W. Why do you always get me junk to drive. H. The car is a usually reliable model. Just because it will not start does not mean the WHOLE car is junk. Batteries, starters, or what ever it is , things wear out.
Any way, I feel like the parent in situations like this and other situations.
W also tells me to buy xyz at store A because it is on sale. I go to store A, cant find xyz on sale, call home, W reads the newspaper and says, "O" it's on sale at store B.
<< New....A) clinical depression (affects memory and brain function, would explain some of the compulsive shopping >> Not new. Yes! W doubled her dose of Prozac and is doing better getting things straight and more logical. We still talk on two different levels.
No Alzheimer's, aunts / uncles all in their 90. Can tell you where they worked since they were 16, where they lived since they were 3 or 4.
I was wondering how much the disconnect might be due to her verses my communication style and how much is due to resentment. Most importantly how to over come some of the differences.
We event went to a couples communication clinic. It was one of those "I heard you say xyz and that tells me you feel, want or etc, is that correct? It's called mirrowing ( my version of echoing) what the other person said. It helped some. Also wears a person out repeating and validation what each said or felt. Very slow process and little real ground covered at times.
OG Lou, making some gains. Thanks for replying KML.
