I'm going to put a different spin on that conversation about the printer... because I used to be in the customer service business. I still wear that hat occasionally with clients who feel they need a little TLC in escalating to me.
I'm going out on a limb and will say that I think many escalations are due to the fact that one person in a party of 2 communicating does not label things well. It would be unthinkable if you were that person, and were the person who needed help and the person who handled your call became angry with you for being an inadequate communicator.
So, when I train someone to do this job, it's to focus on how they can assist the person in being more explicit. Sorry to hear that this person is your W, because it is definitely frustrating and requires a heck of a lot of thought and energy to muddle through a conversation.
(I'm in an electronic industry and our inadequate labelers just call and say, "My system is broken." We have to play 20 questions to get them to define what broken is, because their definition of broken is not ours.
See Ellie's response on why her inability to think clearly might be caused... I think she is much more qualified to answer those issues since she's an MD.
I'll highlight the conversation from this type of perspective. Yours will be in blue.
W to H. the printer does not work.
Lou: The printer doesn't work? Would you like me to take a look at it? Note: *This is a yes/no answer. They must answer it. Let's assume she says yes, because she broached the topic with you and not vice versa. (If she says no, feel free to go about your Lou business!)
Lou: What part does not work?
W. It's broke. Feel free to bang your head against the wall. This comment is frustrating!
Lou: What were you attempting to do? Can you tell me the story so I can get a feel for the problem?
W. You know that birthday party where uncle X dropped the cake and aunt B kind of put the cake back together, I was trying to print those pictures and I could not get the printer to work.
Lou: Would you mind just showing me what you're doing and walk me through it?
Again, yes or no question. If she says yes, you get some visual feedback. If she says no, you're probably better off anyway!
Lou: Thanks for your help. I'll take a look at it and let you know what I find.
She just lacks the ability to think through a sequence of events and explain them to you in terms that will help you identify the real cause of the printer malfunction.
Now, knowing this, can you see something that I see?
You *know* she doesn't give you straight answers to explicit questions, so why expect them? This is one great case I can see for leading a witness, Lou. You want to *draw* them into helping you communicate with them.
When you first start this exercise, try to employ questions that help YOU navigate by asking yes/no questions. Then as you gradually progress beyond them, feed the answers back to her and ask her if you understand her reply? Again, yes or no feedback.
Does any of this make sense, my friend?
Stay well and be good. I'll be checking the BB from time to time from my parents' house.
Hugs to you, Lou!
Betsey
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
Betsey 