Hiya OG Lou!

I've been lurking but not posting lately, and would like to ask you a question...

I am not a spendaholic though I do enjoy buying myself some treats now and again. I do have a friend who is very guilty of this very behavior, and he didn't develop it until he had 10 years of sobriety under his belt. When he decided to head back in to counseling after digging himself a financial grave, he was astounded at the emotional triggers that started him on this journey.

He shared with me that "keeping up with the Joneses" and indulging himself in retail therapy provided him a temporary high that enabled him to avoid the real fears and issues that were lying underneath. Most of these issues began in his childhood.

Let's assume for a moment that your W likes trendy new stuff and lots of it to compensate for something that she is not getting... let's say that her childhood triggers are carrying over to her adulthood and she hasn't taken care of the little girl who needs something in her soul.

If you were to guess, what would that be?

Have you read the 5 Love Languages? If you posted this earlier, I apologize for this. We all feel valued when people speak our own language. For the longest time, I thought I needed words of affirmation... however, a close friend of mine believes I am a quality time person.

When I didn't get either from Mr. Wonderful, I went a little nuts. I actually became angry and started laying mines in our marriage landscape. It sounds plausible that she is doing the same thing with her spending, knowing it is going to force a hand.

What do you think?

Betsey, with in-law family all across Big Sky Country

"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."

Albert Einstein