I have kind of the opposite problem. My LD wife, usually wants to get going and get finished. I have tried to tell her that, while enjoyable, the quickies are not really satisfying like a long drawn out hours long ML session.
I would hesitate to try to assign traits to LD's as well...and here's why.
There are so many levels to take into account. There are LD's out there who some would actually consider HD...it's a matter of perspective. All an LD person really is, is someone who has a lower SD than their partner...so the sex life within the couple is not mutually satisfactory or fullfilling.
If an HD person wants sex 3-4 times a week and their partner wants to have it 1-2 times at the most, then their partner is LD by perspective as they want it less, right? I myself, who am the HD partner in my marriage would be quite content with even 1 time a week, but in other relationships that could be considered LD.
Am I making sense here? I guess I just get a bit frustrated with people trying to generalize or find commonalities between HD's/LD's...it's just not that simple.
Believe me, I wish it were...it would make finding solutions to our problems so much easier Does anyone have anything to add to that...or can you point out where my thinking is askew?
GEL - Still wondering if she dressed up as a deer this weekend if she could get lucky.
In my sitch it isnt just frequency but also desire. In other words, my W would be willing 1-2 times per week, but what makes her LD in my mind is the lack of desire resulting in not so fulfilling sex for me
I fully agree with what you are saying. I was just saying that many people I talk to say the one that does not want to be intimate will alot of times give that impression of wanting to get right to business and get it over with.
I personally would probably be happy with once a week, but would not turn down several times a week. If I was made to feel sexy and desired I would very well get intimate every night. I don't mean to make generalizations, was just something I have heard alot.
If I was made to feel sexy and desired I would very well get intimate every night.
hearing theis makes me feel a little bummed out when I think of the things I have tried to make my W feel 'sexy and desired'. BTW i really do find her sexy and desireable....
GEL, getting luck dressing as a deer.... Hmm how does that work, orange jacket and a hunting license, or is a comment about antler size more in line.....
As a general rule, I would agree with you that LD and HD are relative, but that's not always true. There are several on the board with LD spouses who have said that they have no desire for sex. That's LD no matter how you slice it. There are others who are happy with once or twice a year sex. Desire that low isn't relative - it's low.
There are exceptions to almost any rule, but I do believe that it's possible to make some fairly accurate generalities about those LD people who are absolutely LD. That doesn't mean that I do or don't agree with this one, just that I think that some can be accurate if we're talking only demonstrably LD rather than just relative to the HDS.
Does anyone have anything to add to that...or can you point out where my thinking is askew?
& You have some good points.