I have not posted on here for a while but i have been reading the posts. I have been really trying to get the ball rollong on changing my LD. Things are still not great between me the W though. W bought the book "Passinate Marriage:, I asked her to read some of it to me yesterday which did not last long as the kids came home I also read some of the 1st chapter last night. There are a lot of things that i have read so far that fit me. I really want things to work out with us but it is definetly going to be a very tough road to travel. I am getting ready to retire from the military andlooking for a new carrer which is putting a great deal of stress on both of us.

One of the major problems I see that we (I mean me) are having is that well let me just give you an example....

A couple of days ago the W and I were having a pretty good day. Started out with W starting to give me a BJ until my parents showed up for the weekend (yes we new they were here but were unsure of when they were coming over).We were being affectionate and everything all day. I had to go and help my dad clean out the garage of their old house and the W went shopping with my mom. When we finally got back together that night the parents had bought steaks and we had a BBQ at our house with the kids and everything. By the time everything was said and done and everyone went on their way the W had said to me several times that she was exhausted, I knew she still wanted to mess around that night. But when we went to bed I just laid there and looked at her while she went to sleep. I know the best thing I could have done was ask W if she still wanted to ML but I could not bring myself to as I was afraid I would have to take a shot to make things work as I was not really in the mood anymore.

So that being said how the hell do I change this behavior in me?