Hi Jennifer, and Sage - Reading Sage's post just before hitting the sack was good, I obviously need to sleep on things for them to get processed properly. And of course, such welcome validation from Jennifer this morning.

I now understand that this is not about me, about why he may want to hide things from me. It really is about him, why he is not ready to communicate, simply because he has not processed stuff. Even when we were courting, I recall that he used to re-read my letters over and over again, finding meaning at every read. Only then would he respond. Just his style I guess.

Why the change from someone who blurted out everything pre-A to the more reticent NG now - well, I guess this is part of the symtoms that led to the a - at some point I was no longer his 'safe' companion. And I guess the journey in front of us is to make our relationship safe for us both again.

Thanks for the gentle whacks everyone, I finally get the message. I should just accept that he will tell me all when he is ready, and it will be on his timetable.

Lots more fun stuff going on in our lives for me to get stuck into. Slowly

A Liberal Allowance of Time