Quote: "Protecting" you from whatever knowledge=he doesn't want to have to deal with your feelings. Sigh. So, I guess I would say that you need to make it "safe" for him to share by giving him some space and not pursuing it anxiously. Maybe in a few days, ask casually if he's ready to share.
Precisely - and this is what i struggle with with S., as well. He has not felt safe enough in the past to be truthful with me. (Now, we are struggling with his not feeling safe enough to talk about his feelings. Same thing.)
So, you need to find ways to create that safe space for him to share. GBO's suggestion is excellent. Other ideas:
Not calling him to the carpet for not sharing something right away (i.e., validating his choice to tell you when he decides HE is ready).
Truly making an effort not to react to things emotionally.
Reacting in a way he wouldn't expect. ("Is THAT all that happened? I thought it was much worse, from the looks of your face.")
