The extent to which he was 'protecting' me - just over this 2 minute phone call - was also a moment of truth about this chap's tendency to be less than truthful.
Hmmm...even though that's what he said, I just didn't see it that way (tho' what the heck do I know)...
all of a sudden, out of the blue, in the midst of a great dinner with his w, h gets a phone call that puts him back into the middle of a terrible situation of his own creation AND contains a string of abuse (though what could be worse than what he's already told himself). Don't you think that sounds like an awful lot to process in a short period of time? If your h is anything like mine, he would have needed to get that out at his own pace...you queried, he gave you an answer to stall (he called to say "hi") because he truly wasn't ready to discuss it yet...I don't think it was a conscious lie and while he may have been protecting "you" he was likely also protecting himself (albeit briefly) because his brain had to process the info a bit at a time.
What's the name of the book that's going around the boards? "What could he be thinking" or something like that?
That book would suggest that what happened was biological in nature and not at all related to a desire to lie to you.
(FWIW, I do think that these tendencies are exacerbated by childhood experiences but that being said...there are claims that this is "how" some men's brains "work")
Sage
Relax. Appreciate. Be calm. Laugh. Enjoy. Be secure. Be loving. Be loved. Don't personalize. Don't ASSume. Accept. Be grateful.
