I think that especially in cases of A, it is the LBS that has to "eat" his/her feelings for a very long time before the R is on stable enough ground to - and you may disagree with me here, but I'm starting to learn this in my own sitch - just forget about it.
I'm not saying that you will EVER completely forget, but I've come to realize that stuffing my emotions over OW and not outwardly freaking out over every little thing (like the anxiety I feel when S's cell phone rings, or when he brings the mail in) feels oppressive at first, but then when the trust and confidence comes back, it feels liberating not to have to talk about it or think about it anymore.
