Hi GBO - Yeah, a few days away from you guys and I start forgetting the 'slowly' part of this process. I guess I keep remembering NG's words in his final email to ow
Quote: The talks we had about ending it over the last few weeks have I guess materialised, and that I too want to start a new chapter with clarity and conviction, and start to rebuild the trust and innocence that has been lost in my life.
I think it is the lost trust and innocence that I sometimes feel the need to mourn. I find myself wearing a mask with the one person I used to think I could really be 'myself' - of course, we will never go back to that place of uncomplicated easy-going one-ness.
But, I know we will be ok, in our own, new way. Everyday, I find myself learning something else about myself, or the R that I am in. About NG. I probably expected way too much of him. And now, we are both adjusting - testing out the waters. I find myself, strangely, more confident about myself. Not sure why, though.
So GBO, the thing that I yearn for sometimes, an R that is totally open, well, I'm not sure it is desirable. Where is the challenge and mystery in someone who is an open book? Dbing is now a lifetime assignment
