I'm glad you had some good feedback here. I really dug H2H's comments to you... and she somehow found a way to elaborate a little thing that occurred to me.
But I'm going to take a different slant. Only because it's something I know first hand.
What if your assumptions were true, but not for an intentionally deceptive reason? What if you could put on another set of glasses and make a different assumption that he's not intentionally lying?
Every year, my boss hosts a holiday party at his house. I am the hostess--I send out invitations from a list we created together and take care of the catererer, etc.
And every year, a bunch of people RSVP to me that are not on the list.
The first couple of years, I got angry (yes, this was a control issue). I'd tell him, "D, how in the world am I supposed to work with the caterer when you go behind my back and hand out invitations unknowingly? Why don't you just tell me about them so they aren't a surprise?"
He looked a little hurt and said, "Well, I didn't do it to piss you off, Bets. I see friends while I'm out and about and I give them the invitation. I'm sorry if I forget to tell you about them. Why not just take the head count, add 10 and call it even?"
I've been doing it for many years now, and you know what? He's just that way. So am I for that matter.
I, too, have been accused for omitting truths. I just forgot about them so when they did surface, I was able to see how my inability to communicate effectively affected the other person. It wasn't intentional... deceptive in the long run? Well, yes. But not deliberate.
Slowly, you know I am a fan of the little lies=big lies concept. But what is the real issue here? Is it the fact that he's not seemingly disclosing what you want to hear? Is he being tested without knowledge? How can he meet your standards if he doesn't know he's being held to them?
This isn't a whack, sweetie. I just want you to consider his perspective.
BTW, now that we've been having that holiday party for a long time, my boss has people who hear about it from his friends. They invite themselves--and he hears about it through the grapevine. He's always reluctant to tell me about the freeloaders... because he knows it pisses me off.
Maybe NG didn't issue the invitation but someone assumed? And since he technically didn't invite anyone was telling you the truth? As a rule, men don't know what to do with situations that are beyond their control (and they don't have prior experience to devise a script on the fly), especially when they know it will create a ruckus at home.
I'm going to say point blank here that the men in my life (Mr. W., my boss, my friends, my dad and my brother) have all been known to keep me in the dark about small things that they know will set me off.
Why? Because they knew that losing control of something would invoke rage and disappointment. And they knew they were screwed either way.
How about just telling NG you know about the other people and ask him how they got included on the list? I'm going to bet dollars to donuts that he has a logical explanation and the reason behind it might surprise you.
Just something else to consider...
Betsey
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
Betsey 
