The triggers will always be there, I reckon, we just need to give ourselves time, so the emotions that arise from these triggers are not so overwhelming. I am now finding that if I allow myself 5-10 minutes to let it all flow, so to speak, in the privacy of my bathroom, and then compose myself, get my act-as-if face on, and step out to face the world, I seem to be coping better. The few minutes of indulgence seems to do the trick for me
Quote: I also just came to the realization that I want what H gave OW....I want the tenderness and romance....he started to give this to me, and seems to have pulled back, so I will be searching for ways to change the dynamics of our R.....as I've told him, I am not going to live the cool, distant life we led before again.
Yes, yes, yes. Me too. I think this is where the baby steps are again needed. For example, NG still starts the night with a tight hug as we drift off to sleep, but my nid-night, we have each gone solo. In the past, I used to wait for him to come back to me, and feel put out if he does not . Now I just reach across and hold his hand, and I seem to ALWAYS get a tight hug back in return, even if he is half asleep. A small change in my response, and we have a new outcome.
I still feel I'm doing much of the heavy lifting, but you know, I'm getting so much in return. Plus, I may not be recognising the work he is doing, it may not appear as work to me
Just popping over to your place now, Deb. We do have a lot to glean from each other's situations, don't we?
. Now I just reach across and hold his hand, and I seem to ALWAYS get a tight hug back in return, even if he is half asleep. A small change in my response, and we have a new outcome. 
