I can contribute a little piece of wisdom my DB coach, Chuck, passed along to me:
Quote: If you HAD to answer this questions once and for all, would you rather him be with her, thinking of you? Or with you, thinking of her?
I thought for a good long minute (the $$s were ticking away, so I would have thought longer if I could ) but came up with a sure answer: With her, thinking of me. He said, "In my years of counseling no one has EVER said anything different. So now why would you want him to relive the experience of being with her? Why would you remind him of it?"
And I had no good answer.
Focus on the positives, Slowly. Easier said than done, but just try to let it drop. I have to remind myself of this every single day. Take it one day at a time. Ask yourself, Will this question bring me closer, or push him farther away?
Affair questions have serious potential for pushing him away. Not worth the risk for a briefly positive A conversation, that as MF said, makes you feel better for a day at the most. Won't it just bring up more questions? and then more after that?
) but came up with a sure answer: With her, thinking of me. He said, "In my years of counseling no one has EVER said anything different. So now why would you want him to relive the experience of being with her? Why would you remind him of it?"
