the "Why of the Affair" was something I have really been struggling with..until lately..
Go read my thread from the last few days on "Once reconciliation has occured" for a post I sent to Betsey (Underdog).
I had been grappling with the subject and came to some realizations..
Also go read MGOBLUE in MLC .....great stuff there about the why's and why they don't want to share it( all the 411) about their reasoning for the A.
At this point I feel like I could do a book on the why's, so I will not write some long drawn out post on it right now...Suffice it to say I came to realize...You DON"T have to understand the reasoning to move beyond it....You may not find out..because basically until THEY can figure out why they did it they cannot communicate to YOU why they did it and they may not understand it for a very...and I mean very( YEARS AND YEARS) not understand it, long time.
If they ever get some councilling then maybe they will, or if God deems it nessessary for them to learn they will, otherwise you are going to have to make some decisions for yourself.
What can you live with What can you not What good will knowing be for you? What good will it be for them Will knowing change anything? Why do you want to know? What are you trying to control? Do you think you can predict what will happen? What will you stand for now?
Please consider some of these questions, it may give you some of the peace that you search for.
