Quote: Something else I'm learning, NG never, but never, backs down during a 'discussion' - but if my point is valid, he does then take the necessary action - quietly. I now don't labour my point. Mention it once, then move on. It used to be that I wanted closure during the same discussion, and we both end up taking positions we are loathe to back off from.
Yes, I am very guilty of this as well. And S. does the very same thing - will not admit my point is valid at the time but quietly will go and act later. Funny enough, my mother used to tell me not to say things over and over - I used to say things repeatedly in arguments, changing the syntax but not the meaning, when I wasn't getting validation. Steamrolling, as it were. Years later, I was still doing it until 5-6 months ago, when I realized S. would stonewall, no matter how liquidy I melted down, and then in his own time, and NOT without saving face, would quietly do whatever, as if it were his own idea all along. I always wondered why he thought I sounded so "condescending" when we argued. It wasn't my tone - it was the repeating the point as if he hadn't understood!
So yes, it's so hard to realize you've been heard when your partner is sitting there staring at you, or arguing, or whatever. It takes a lot of vigilance to say it once and then stop yourself before you say it again (or again...).
